Gasping For Breath

Breath One:

It is 7:15pm and the house is now quiet from the earlier chaos of three kids and a dog.  There is a quote that I am reminded of as my children sleep. 

“There never was such a lovely child, but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson 

I feel deeply connected to this mother.  I love my children.  I cry over their sweetness when sharing a story with my husband, Jason, I blubber over the pictures of yesterday and I weep with frustration at how they or I acted.  I love them with everything I am, but I am always glad to see them sleep.  Finally, I get a little space, a little breathing room.  So, I’ve decided to write a blog.  This will be my breathing room.  It will be my space to reflect, process, take an honest look at the day or my life.  Truth is important to me, it can be uncomfortable, it can hurt, it may not be pretty, but it is the best.  

So, I start with an agenda of honesty.   

Were you shocked to learn my children are in bed asleep by 7:15?  Well, we have early risers and I will refer you to the previous quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson.  We also have a very standard routine.  We find it necessary to have a routine with three children.  Along with the understanding, that children love routine and predictability.   They want to know what will happen next, it gives them a sense of control.  Often children have very little control.  Our routine is as follows:

1. Eat dinner together.  While I love the idea of homemade meals, I do not make them every night and I am not that great of a cook. I go in phases, meal planning for a week, and then scrounge in the cupboards for something to throw together.  I am a last- minute girl, and not so organized.

2.  Every other night is bath night at our house, unless we get really dirty or skip it out of laziness. Come on, they are just kids.  Although, my kids love baths, and it does keep one of them contained for awhile!  The kids take their baths and clean up their rooms or just clean their rooms and put on their pajamas.  This happens only when I am home. 

3. After baths and jammies we started giving them a bedtime snack.  We haven’t always done this, but Lee is hungry ALL of the time. 

4. Then the children brush their teeth, one at a time because spitting is involved and we have a minute bathroom.

5. We always read books together.  Jason and I share the responsibility.  We divide and conquer.  He is currently reading the second Harry Potter book to Lee.  Lee, generally reads it independently first and Jason rereads it to him.  I read with Jane and Frederick.  They currently share a bedroom.  They also read a few books on their bed independently.  For Jane, this means books that are from her school or books that she knows she can read.  For Frederick, this means reading pictures or talking about the books.  Then I read aloud the two books that each of them chose.   

6. Then it is time for lights out!  Only to turn on all night lights and the hallway light for each child.  Then each room has a noise machine which we purchased to try and keep our children in bed as long as possible.  The noise machines are set on babbling brook; this is a vast improvement from the former settings of squawking birds and thumping heartbeat that we have been subjected to in the past. 

7.  Then it is time for prayers, sometimes we say them with interjections from each of the kids and sometimes they pray aloud.  Sometimes they ramble on and tell God about their day, and sometimes they ask for specific things such as help and protection from storms, healing from snotty noses.  What an honor it is to hear our children pray and talk to God. 

8. After prayers we sing to our children and rub their backs.  Jason has specific songs that he chose to sing to each of the children.  Depending on who he is putting to bed he sings their respective songs.  For Lee he sings, “Amarillo by Morning” and “Margaritaville” I know not a kid songs or topics, I tried to tell him this. Oh well, nine years later. He also sings, “Rainbow Connection,” and “Love Without End, Amen”.  To Jane and Frederick he sometimes sings Badger songs at Frederick’s request.  He also sings, “Operator” and “I’ve Got a Name.”  I usually sing the same songs to all of our children.  I sing “ ‘Tis a Gift,” a song my mother sang to me as a little girl. I also sing, “Amazing Grace,” and “Jesus Loves Me,” “Twinkle, Twinkle,” and “You are So Beautiful,” and more.  Then backs are rubbed, Frederick holds my hair, because that is his thing.  I kiss them goodnight and tell them, “Sweet dreams, I love you and goodnight.”

 9. Finally it is sleepy time.  Hallelujah Amen! We pray they stay in their beds until morning. 

Note:

We shoot for lights out between 7:00pm and 7:30pm.  This process can be lengthened or shortened depending on the time.  Songs can be cut out or added and books can be shortened or bookmarks used. If the evening is getting crazy, then extra long reading time and songs it is!  We like to be flexible with everything except the time.  We don’t want anyone turning into a pumpkin and having a fit! 

To be perfectly honest this is the ideal.  Usually this routine works and really does happen…but fits happen too, quick songs and prayers happen, “oops I forgot to brush my teeth” happens, “Go to bed, NOW!” happens.  All these things happen as we gasp for breath.